Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
