Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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