I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize