So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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