Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
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