I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
