Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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