You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
