Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
