sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
