someone owes me an orgasm
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
