brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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