Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
