grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
