I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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