It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Randomize
