idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize
