I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize