i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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