Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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