i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
