I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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