Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
God, I missed his penis.
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