How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
