SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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