Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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