i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
