clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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