Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
