We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
