So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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