Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
