that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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