This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sober January is a disaster.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
