dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
