What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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