you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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