I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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