I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize