Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
