Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
