Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
