you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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