your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
