Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize