trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
