I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
