we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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