Sponge bath it is.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
