just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
