FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The air was thick with penises
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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