I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
