My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
