Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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