you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
