How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
