literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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