"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Found your dick twin last night
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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