i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
