So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Who died my cat blue again?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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