why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
